


Collapsing from you

by Practicemakesperfect



Series: Baeksoo Oneshots (/short stories/drabbles) [5]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Conflict, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:41:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21638278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Practicemakesperfect/pseuds/Practicemakesperfect
Summary: An excerpt from a fic I’ll never write. Context in author’s note.Kyungsoo held his face, bleeding from the cut. His voice was shaking. “I told them you’d never hurt me.”
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Do Kyungsoo | D.O, Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongdae | Chen
Series: Baeksoo Oneshots (/short stories/drabbles) [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2030035
Comments: 2
Kudos: 36





	Collapsing from you

**Author's Note:**

> I surprisingly have an entire plot planned out for this story, but I don’t think I could do it justice.
> 
> Essentially, Baekhyun is a a drug addict recently released from rehab. The story is about his struggles and relapses, and how his relationship with Kyungsoo is affected as a result.
> 
> In this scene, Kyungsoo gets injured trying to stop Baekhyun and leaves. It’s pretty dramatic.
> 
> Oh. Baekhyun is in no way abusive, by the way. This was genuinely an accident.
> 
> (If you’re one of my usual readers I’d warn you this isn’t fluff or even close to it. It’s a scene and entirely angst.)

“Soo--”

Kyungsoo held his face, bleeding from the cut. His voice was shaking. “I told them you’d never hurt me.”

“Kyungsoo, I’m sorry, I--”

He stood up without listening, the tears were threatening to spill, he couldn’t breathe as he stumbled out of their apartment, and Baekhyun’s voice was there, calling his name, but he didn’t stop. When he was outside he realized he hadn’t grabbed anything. He didn’t even have shoes on. He was alone, outside in the cold, the snow had stopped falling but it covered the ground untouched, and Kyungsoo thought he wanted to lay in it and sleep. His cut was still bleeding. It stung from the cold.

When he’d gone to the payphone and called Jongdae, he was sobbing. He had to insert more coins because it took him so long to speak, and finally he managed, “can you come pick me up?”

“Pick you up? What’s going on? Where are you?”

“I’m at home. Please. I need--” Kyungsoo gasped “--I can’t be here anymore.”

“Okay. Okay, I’ll be there in ten minutes. Just wait inside.”

“I don’t want to go inside, Jongdae.” He knew he was whining, his voice was edging on desperation. 

“Kyungsoo, it’s freezing out.”

“I’m staying at the payphone.”

“You--” Jongdae sighed. “Okay. Then, I’ll see you soon.”

He hung up and Kyungsoo stood there and waited, using the sleeve of his sweater to cover the cut. He was quiet when Jongdae pulled up at the curb and rushed out, asking a million questions but stopping the moment he saw him bleeding. Instantly, he switched modes, taking off his jacket to wrap around Kyungsoo’s shoulders before leading him to the car.

“Take this and apply pressure,” he ordered, taking a towel out of the glove compartment. He cursed when he saw the size of the wound. “What the hell happened?”

Kyungsoo didn’t answer as he stared out the window. He wasn’t crying anymore. “It hurts,” he said flatly.

“I don’t know what happened, but… it’ll be okay.”

“No,” said Kyungsoo. “The cut.”

“Oh.” Kyungsoo watched the houses pass by as Jongdae drove. “How did… you don’t want to tell me, do you?”

“It was an accident,” Kyungsoo said. He knew Jongdae didn’t believe him, because he said nothing. “Can I stay with you tonight?”

“You can stay for as long as you need.”

“Okay.” Kyungsoo closed his eyes, leaning his head against the window. It was cool to the touch. “Jongdae,” he said suddenly. The tears were pooling again. “Jongdae.”

Jongdae glanced over, alarmed. “Hey, don’t cry, it’s okay.” If Kyungsoo didn’t feel so miserable, he would have laughed at how stressed Jongdae sounded. “Do you, uh, want some ice cream?”

Kyungsoo shook his head. Suddenly, it felt like he was falling apart. “It hurts,” he whimpered. “It hurts so bad. Please make it stop hurting. Please make it stop.”

Jongdae knew he wasn’t talking about the cut anymore. Hesitantly, he reached out a hand and smoothed it over Kyungsoo’s head, keeping his eyes on the road. “I’m sorry,” he said. He didn’t know why he was apologizing, but it felt right. “I’m sorry.”

\--

_Baby, I love you so much._

_I love you, too._

_No, but you don’t get it. I love you so much it hurts sometimes. I can’t believe we’re together. You’re so perfect and handsome and beautiful and everytime I look at you I can’t believe that somehow someone like you just decided to be with someone like me._

_You make it sound like you’re terrible._

_I am. I am terrible. That’s why it doesn’t make sense._

_Kyungsoo laughed. You’re not terrible. I’m with you because I like you. So you can’t be terrible._

_Baekhyun’s smile was lopsided, endearing in its transparency. I don’t believe you, it said. I love you, it said._

_He said, I want to be better, for you._

_He said, You make me want to be better._

Kyungsoo woke up exhausted.

He was in Jongdae’s spare room, plain white walls and sheets that didn’t match, and an empty desk that felt cold.

Kyungsoo felt cold.

He stared up at the ceiling for a long time. It couldn’t have been early in the morning, Jongdae must have let him sleep in. His cheek still ached from the wound that Jongdae had disinfected and covered, and he brought his hand to the bandages tentatively, as if it were so fragile that one touch could unravel it all. He recalled the feeling of glass against his skin. He thought maybe it was a feeling he’d like to replicate.

Enough. He got up.

When he did, he heard the phone ring in the living room. It rang for a while, and Kyungsoo almost stepped out to get it when he heard Jongdae walk across the room to pick it up. “What do you want?” he almost growled, and for whatever reason Kyungsoo felt compelled to stay by the door and listen.

“Why do you care if he’s here? It’s not like you’re coming to get him.” Pause. “If he wanted to go back, he would have asked me to drive him back... Okay, well then you can just call him… Of course he left his phone. He wasn’t wearing a jacket when I got there. Or shoes. What the hell did you do, Baek?” Apparently whatever his response was wasn’t enough, because Jongdae said, with little remorse: “You don’t deserve him. If he still wants to go back, then that’s up to him. But I’m prepared to have him stay for as long as he needs. If you want to see him, you’re coming here.” After another moment of silence, maybe Baekhyun was saying something, Jongdae put the phone down.

Kyungsoo breathed out cautiously, as if Jongdae would be able to hear him snooping through the walls. He waited another five minutes before he finally stepped out, finding Jongdae in the kitchen, cooking food.

“Morning,” Jongdae said, smiling. Any of the animosity he’d had earlier vanished. “Hungry?”

Kyungsoo looked at the spaghetti he was making. His stomach rumbled. “Yeah.”

“It’ll be done in a couple of minutes. Can you get some plates, please?” Obediently, Kyungsoo got up and went to the cupboard, getting two plates and setting them on the table along with some forks. Jongdae started humming as he transferred the finished spaghetti to a serving plate. The sound was soft, soothing. It made Kyungsoo feel more at ease. “How are you feeling?” Jongdae asked, turning around and putting the food down. He handed Kyungsoo a serving fork, which Kyungsoo gladly took.

“Better.”

“That’s good. After lunch, I’m just going to check up on your cheek. It wasn’t too deep a cut, but I just want to make sure it’s okay.”

“Alright.” 

“You can stay here as long as you need. I have extra blankets in the closet if it gets too cold.”

“Okay.”

“And I can drive over to your apartment and get your stuff, if you want.”

Kyungsoo chewed slowly. “Jongdae… are you mad at Baek?”

He stopped. Looked up. Then, relenting, “yeah, I am.”

“Please don’t be,” Kyungsoo said. “It was an accident.”

“I don’t care.” 

“Dae…”

“I’m sorry. I just don’t care if it was an accident or on purpose. He hurt you. So I’m mad.” Kyungsoo wasn’t sure why, but when Jongdae met his gaze, he softened. “I know you care about him. But you’re worrying me. This isn’t okay anymore, Soo. I know it’s the next day, so you’ve had some time to rationalize yourself through it, but yesterday was a mess. I don’t think it should continue.”

“I love him,” Kyungsoo said.

Jongdae’s eyes looked sad. “I know you do. But that doesn’t excuse any of this.”

They ate in silence for a while after that. Kyungsoo wondered what Jongdae was thinking about, but he didn’t ask. His mind kept wandering to other places. Like Baekhyun, at home. His stomach turned in worry, in upset, in guilt--Kyungsoo wasn’t sure what it was. He just knew that he regretted leaving him. He hadn’t meant to hurt Kyungsoo. He knew that. But at that moment, everything that everyone had been saying had caught up to him…

Kyungsoo didn’t even notice he was touching his cheek until Jongdae asked, “does it hurt?”

“No, I was just… thinking.”

Jongdae contemplated that. “Might as well check on it,” he said finally, getting up. “If you’re finished?”

Kyungsoo nodded and they cleared the table, and then Kyungsoo sat down again and let Jongdae pull the bandages off, inspecting his cut. 

“It looks like it’s all closed up,” he said, pleased. “You could probably keep the bandage off for a while. We’ll put it on before you go to sleep.”

“Okay,” said Kyungsoo. Jongdae’s fingers brushed against his skin as he pulled back.

“Why do you love Baekhyun so much?” Jongdae asked suddenly. 

“What?”

“Nevermind.” Jongdae looked away. Kyungsoo examined him for a moment.

“I don’t know why I love him,” Kyungsoo said simply. “I just do.”

They met eyes, then. Jongdae looked at him for a long time. And then he said, softly, “then, what about me?”

“You’re…” His words faltered as Jongdae’s eyes trailed down to his lips. He watched as Jongdae moved closer, closer, and then the spell was broken as he said, “we shouldn’t,” and Jongdae moved back.

“Yeah,” Jongdae said. “Sorry. You’re right. That was stupid of me.” He stood up, old bandages in hand. Back turned to him, Jongdae threw them out and started washing the dishes. His voice was stiff, controlled. “Baekhyun called. He wanted to talk to you. You should call him back.”

Kyungsoo stared at his back for a while. When he stood, he felt controlled, too. “Okay. Thank you.”

**Author's Note:**

> End scene!
> 
> Spoiler plot summary:  
> Under the influence of drugs, Baekhyun ends up cheating on Kyungsoo with Chanyeol. Meanwhile, Jongdae and Kyungsoo are best friends, and Jongdae is struggling with his feelings for Kyungsoo. (Kyungsoo at some point does begin to realize he has feelings for Jongdae, but opts not to act on them because he loves Baekhyun.) 
> 
> In the end, Baeksoo’s relationship begins to deteriorate and Kyungsoo’s feelings for Jongdae grow stronger, but Jongdae meets and becomes close with Xiumin who he ends up dating before Kyungsoo can confess. Kyungsoo breaks up with Baekhyun and tells him he needs to get help, and so the story ends with him alone.
> 
> However, there would be an epilogue where Baekhyun returns from rehab and meets Kyungsoo again, and the readers can assume that they do make up and end up together.
> 
> The end lol
> 
> —
> 
> Tbh if anyone feels like attempting to write this, be my guest lol I wish I could write this. Anyway. I’ve had this since forever and it makes me sad yay


End file.
